oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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