I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
