don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need to stop coming to work sober
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
