I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She said her name was "party"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
