i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
