Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
