just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
