Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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