I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
