if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
