He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Someone came in the potted fern
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
