Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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