I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
