You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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