There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
