Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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