the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
