i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Randomize
