My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
