the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
