i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
