Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God, I missed his penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
