oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
