good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
