Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We are all done wearing pants today
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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