dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
