He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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