Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
