What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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