3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
