Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
