When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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