imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
