I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
