ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
