Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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