There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
