There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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