Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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