Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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