garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In other news, I just burned my penis
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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