doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize