you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
