The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
