I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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