She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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