that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
