lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
