My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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