Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
