One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
