Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Found the puke drawer
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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