It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
