What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
