Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My penis needs a shock collar
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
