I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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