I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it was like eating out sand paper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize