Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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