her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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