I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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